First the nightmare: I'm running down a long corridor, half blinded by the swirls of dust.
At times I run forward and then I float around and run backwards, but I'm afraid because I'm hiding something in my pocket.
I don't know what it is or where I got it, but I know they want to take it away from me and that frightens me.
The wall breaks down and suddenly there is a red-haired girl with her arms outstretched to me—her face is a blank mask.
She takes me into her arms, kisses and caresses me, and I want to hold her tightly but I'm afraid.
The more she touches me, the more frightened I become because I know I must never touch a girl.
Then, as her body rubs up against mine, I feel a strange bubbling and throbbing inside me that makes me warm.
But when I look up I see a bloody knife in her hands.
I try to scream as I run, but no sound comes out of my throat, and my pockets are empty.
I search in my pockets but I don't know what it is I've lost or why I was hiding it.
I know only that it's gone, and there is blood on my hands too.
What am I afraid of? Something about the knife. I made myself a cup of coffee and smoked a cigarette.
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